Tattoo Pet Peves!

Everyone knows I love them! Heck, I even have quite a fetish for them lol! But there are a few I wouldn't ever think about getting! I don't have a lot of tattoos (5), but people ask me all the time "why did you get that & not this." So I figured it's about time I do a tattoo pet peeve list & hopefully, this will answer some of your questions lol!

1. Dolphins... ugh drives me nuts! Either the person got it when they were 16 or they are just a tattoo wannabe.

2. Boob tattoos is another. Frank Zappa had you Catholic girls pegged. All those years of being cooped up with the same sex has you making desperate (& permanent) pleas for male attention.

3. Tramp Stamp. Yup, although I did think at one time they were kinda nice, it's just WAY too overdone nowadays and it's always a butterfly!!! WTF These people usually are the same type to get the Dolphin tattoos.

4. Looney Tunes... Perhaps appropriate for those people that get them... after all they gotta be looney!!! Poor Taz...he seems to have become a favorite with the rednecks... I blame it on the Yosemite Sam mud-flaps!

5. Star Trek... Boldly don't go there! Even after a few light years you still won't be able to beam it off! Just buy the Kirk action figure instead!

6. Bar Codes... if you like them that much, become a cashier!

7. Barbwire... especially on a man! Pam Anderson made this tattoo extremely popular in the 90's. IMHO, men shouldn't get a tattoo that has been popularized by a woman!

8. Neck tattoos. Unless your famous or a tattooist, this is a big mistake. Guaranteed your not going to get the job if you have flames shooting up your neck!

9. Anything & I mean ANYTHING in a foreign language. There's nothing cooler than some writing on your body in a language that you don't understand! (idiots)

10. Jesus tattoos... don't get me wrong, I love Jesus, but I don't want to see his face while I'm making whoopee! As I'm sure you don't either while doing me up the butt!!!!

Blowing Smoke Up One's Ass

I learnt something new & strange today. Back in the 1750's-1810 there was this thing called the "Tobacco Smoke Enema". It was used to infuse tobacco smoke into a patients rectum. It was used for various medical purposes but primarily used for the resuscitation of drowning victims.

A rectal tube was inserted into the anus that was connected to a fumigator & bellows that forced the smoke towards the rectum. The warmth of the smoke was thought to promote respiration, but doubts about the credibility of tobacco enemas led to the popular phrase "blow smoke up one's ass." lmao!!!! So... every expression truly comes from something based on fact!

Opinions are like assholes!

People and their opinions drive me nuts. Sure I might disagree with you, or you with me, but throw it out there, and then drop it. Why do I need to hear over and over again the same crap. I get it already and I still disagree, so drop it!

Everyone has heard of the expression "opinions are like asshole; everyone has one." BUT it takes a wise person (yes, such as myself), to hear it and leave it. Don't get me wrong, if I disagree, I'll say so. This girlie is not shy. However, I'm not going to drill my opinions into the skull of others hoping they'll see the light :P

I just wish some people would have the same respect.

Bad Puppy!

I'm pretty sure that everyone knows now that I have a dog... after all I brag about it all the time. Yes, I have turned into one of those retched people that go on and on about their dog. And today is no different. Except today, I'm not a happy camper. There will be no bragging! Today is the first day my pup pissed me off!

The sad story begins last night, I was camming (and thoroughly enjoying myself;). Needless to say, dildos were used! Well, after camming I cleaned them and threw them back in my box of toys and left it on the floor, I was just too pooped to put it away.

So this morning, I'm chatting on SC Chat, and my pup was sitting on my lap. I gave him the boot, because he's really not a lap dog. He's a medium size dog, but too big for my lap. Anyways, he wonders off onto the couch. So here I am, having a great time in chat and my pup leaves the room... no biggie, he's probably getting some water.

A few minutes go by, and he's not back... then another few minutes. Now to some this may be no big deal, but my pup is my shadow. He's always with me... for crying out loud I can't even take a pee without him whimpering outside the door. So finally I get up to see what he was up to. Because like kids, when he's quiet, he's up to no good!

"Busted!" I shouted! The bastard, as I'm sure you've guessed ate one of my DP dildos!!! Little rubber pieces galore all over the other room! Man oh man was I pissed! But what can you do right... he's a dog, and I should have put my stuff away!

All I can say is thank God, I cleaned them... could you imagine?! EWWW!!!

My Newest Tattoo

Finally I got my new tattoo! I found the design way back in January and brought it to my tattooist. It was a bit too busy for me, so I asked him if he could work on it. Finally the other day I get the chance to go down and check out what he's managed to do with it. Instantly I was in love with it! I asked him if he had the time to tattoo me right away and he said yes!!!

As he's setting up, hubby, a fave friend of mine and myself are chatting about where I'm going to get this done. Originally when I wanted some opinions on this particular tattoo, I headed to another shop... tisk tisk I know. See my tattooist is getting old lol. I thought he was old way back when I got my first tattoo done when I was 16. Anyhow, I ended up at this other place, with these hyper tattooed guys telling me they really liked it, they also asked where I wanted it done, and I said on my back. Well the head tattooist said that that was an absolute no. He said it should be on my calf. I told him I wasn't sure about that, he wanted to set me up right away, but I told him I had to wait because I never thought about tattooing my legs before, so I needed some time to think it over.

Ok getting back to where we're all waiting for my tattooist to set up. I'm sitting in this antique barber chair lol and tell them that ok, I'll have it done on my calf. After all, it had been almost 5 months that I had been contemplating it and really couldn't see another place for this tattoo.

By this point, Tony is ready (tattoo guy). I lie down on the table, wondering if my calf is going to start twitching lol. There's a big muscle there... ok and probably some fat too lol, either way I just thought that maybe it would start twitching on me because although I love the feeling of being tattooed, it's still painful at first until the tattooist gets his groove on, then it's fine.

Anyhoot, I'm lying there tattoo has started and my two boys bail on me to go get the cash. Surprisingly, in my humble opinion, it hurts more than getting it done on a bone. But like I said after the tattooist gets into his groove the pain just seems to go away, and besides, it's sooo worth it!

So the boys come back just as Tony is finishing up. Everyone said it looked great! Now we head home. Lemme tell ya... Karma was with me that day! I had to get babysitters and only had them for 2 hours, so the fact that I got there and got tattooed and was home in time was great!

That night we all go out to eat, and all of a sudden I get up to pee and "ouch" I felt like I had worked out for 10 hours straight just on my calf! After limping back from the "ladies room" I sit back down and explained why I was limping. This "limping" lasted for a couple of days. Man oh man was my calf sore. To top it off, there was this crazy swelling! Just perfectly around my tattoo.

A few days later, my mom pops by (btw she is totally not a fan of tattoos). She sees my new addition, and doesn't like it. And of course she comes over while it's healing, she sees the scabs and all! I tell her to relax, it's healing and it will look better in a couple of days. At least this time there was no lecture! Maybe she's given up, considering it's my 5th tattoo. But I thought for sure she would, since this one is more visible than the rest... not as easy to cover up. The bad thing about that though is that whenever my mom doesn't seem to freak out, my dad does ten fold!

I just love love love my newest tattoo! You can take a peek here: http://twitpic.com/photos/LaraAnnSC4 or on my site http://www.lara-ann.com/